Well we survived, it was as long or longer than I had ever hoped was possible. We began by leaving home at noon and arriving in SmallTown USA some 2 Hours later. We stopped by the widow's home (where many grandkids and parents were staging for the trip to the funeral home.)
We then changed and left to go to the Funeral Home at 4 for family prayers - unfortunately I had it in my head that this would be 20-30 minutes long (this was my previous experience) then we could leave and come back at 7 for the memorial service - no such luck. We had family prayers from 4 to 5 then it seemed like the whole population of SmallTown showed up (they had to finally close the funeral home doors) between 5 and 7 to pay their respects. S. and I finally snuck out at 6 to go and get water, gum and hard candies. Then we had a nice 20 minute memorial service.
As a note to those running funerals in the future - take care of the living! Water, tea, coffee and some small nibbles are really a blessing especially for family that has to be there for 3 1/2 hours.